a dangerous game
by fullmetal naruto girl
Summary: Riku was lost the line between right and wrong hazed through his eyes, and the party scene taking over him. Axel was always there, but is that enough to stop the party boy from killing himself? Or from breaking his own heart?
1. pologue

**anyways long time since i posted or updated...still working on that...**

disclaimer: i do not own anything but the freedom to write yaoi on paper, along with angst

so on with this story rated M for some "stuff" that will happen soon, drugs, swearing the whole shizam

so enjoy

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Prologue 

Riku was lost the line between right and wrong hazed through his eyes, and the party scene taking over him. Axel was always there, but is that enough to stop the party boy from killing himself? From breaking his own heart?

"_I love you Riku you know I always will." _

_I smile _

"_I love you too." _

1 shot. Forget it.

"_Riku come play tag with me"_

_I laugh_

2 shots. No more pain.

"_Hey loser, come for a walk"_

_I take his tanned hand._

3 shots. Hazy memories.

"_Riku when were older will you marry me?" _

"_Of course" I reply grinning._

4 shots. Can't remember him.

"_Axel run!" _

_Gunshots ringing in my ears _

"_No, I won't leave you."_

5 shots. Regret.

I open my eyes slowly white lights blinding me. My throat is parched and feels scratchy. I can't remember anything.

Who am I?

Where did I come from?

Where am I?

Who do these crying faces belong to?

"Riku." The woman says holding me. I'm frozen.

"Why are you crying miss?" I ask.

She cries harder

A younger boy is standing beside her.

"Silly that's your mom, and I'm Axel you're my best friend, and your Riku." He fills my emptiness.

"Riku." I say tasting the name on my tongue it sounds so familiar. "Your 14 years old and were in the same class."

I sit silently it sounds familiar, and now the memories are coming back. "We live next door to each other?" I ask aloud to confirm the memory.

"Yep, we grew up together; I almost thought you would forget my handsome good looks." Axel says. I smile.

"Why am I here?" that's the only thing I don't remember it's like my mind is on purposely forgetting about that one important detail.

"You got hurt really bad, a drive by shooting while we were walking home together; they missed me by inches because you pushed me and took the bullet." He says darkly.

"I promise you Riku I'll find who did this and I'll make them pay." He says loudly. I give him the most sincere smile.

"Thanks Axel I know you will."

_We grew up together, loved each other, we were so close back then I like to think we still are but I can't because I did so many hurtful things to you now a days, some are unforgivable. I ruined everything because I was too caught up on growing up faster to get off this island; it's my fault Axel please don't blame yourself."_

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anyways read and review next chapter set up right after this because i said so. update will happen again hope fully in the next 3 days i will not fail you all


	2. chapter 1 change is always better

**disclaimer**:same as before kingdome hearts dose not belong to me and i'm just a kid trying to make people read more yaoi

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today i am dirty

and i want to be pretty

we are nobodies

just wanna somebodies

-Marilyn manson

Yesterday I walked out of my own house. I didn't look back.

I didn't see my mother crying or my father trying to comfort her, and most of all I didn't see my boyfriend standing on my porch beside my parents staring at my back as I ran.

I'm selfish

I'm a prick

I only care about myself

I feel no regret

My eyes are stinging with tears. This is ridiculous I mentally chide myself for acting like a wimp. All my pain is self inflicted and I brought it all on myself. The drugs, the alcohol I couldn't stop. Hell I still can't. I had always told myself I would never do the heavy drugs like meth, heroine, crack, but look at me now world class fuckup and the biggest disappointment my parents ever saw.

"Riku." A voice yells out my name. My hearts pounding in my throat I can barely breathe. My ribs ache it hurts when I intake breath. "Riku." My name is called louder. I know he's getting closer. But I can't stop my legs from pushing themselves harder. It's like I'm running on air I can't feel anything anymore.

Then it all happens so fast. I'm running, then I'm falling, and I hate when I fall. My legs are tangled in his; he's on top of me pinning my arms on my side. "Why do you run, all the time you can't run from me Riku, I won't ever let you win." Axel said breathlessly. My throat is burning I can barely breathe. "Why don't you just leave me alone, are you stupid?" I yell at him. I instantly regret saying those hurtful words.

"Am I?" he questions back. "Riku do you want me to let you go forever? Am I stupid for loving you?" my eyes are stinging as new tear's creep down my pale face. I feel his bony hips digging into mine. "I'm sorry, Axel." I whisper. I know I could never leave him. "Promise you won't run anymore babe." Axel said quietly letting go of my arms. I lay quietly. "I promise I will never run from you again." Axel smiles at this and rests his head on the crook of my neck. I put my arms around him.

If anyone was to walk and see this happening it would look extremely weird considering Axel is about 6' while I'm 5'6 at best. Axel's long body felt so nice, the warmth made me smile made, I want to laugh again and live a normal life. I feel a soft vibration on the side of my thigh. Then some music playing. "Axel, I need to grab my cell phone." He rolls off me and I feel cold again.

"Hello." The voice on the other line is cold and harsh, "you stupid whore get your ass down here I need you." He says. I frown "Leon I can't I'm done with you I owe you nothing all my debts are paid." He laughs on the other line sending a shiver up my spine.

"You forgot one." He said in a singsong voice. I hated that voice it was him taunting me always making me take the first hit, making the first move. He always knew how to piss me off. "Fuck off." I said trying to sound like my cool collected self. Cold laughter rings through the receiver. "See you around kid." I hear laughter once more before a click ending our conversation.

Axel sat quietly staring at me. I felt vulnerable, and weak. "I was never like that you know..." I said aloud snapping the dolly day dream back to reality. "Like what?" He questioned back. I smile. "I was never weak, remember?" Axel smiled. "How could I not 4th grade you almost sent the 7th grader to the hospital."

I smile again. "Do you remember why?" I say smirking. Axel's face scrunches trying to remember. "I don't know." He finally admits. "It was because he kicked sand in your face then next thing I knew I was on top of him punching as hard as I could." I finish for him. "It seems like we switched places like you took on the role of protector." Axel simply nods at me.

"But I know your not weak, it's just that sometimes I need to toughen up so that you know I'll catch you when you fall." I sit staring back into his bright green eyes. "I bet mom's still balling her eyes out." I say coldly. I watch Axel cringe. "Riku she's your god damn mother why do you act like that to her?" he yells. I stand up. "She's a whore a fucking worthless piece of shit; she ruined me and everything I had." I yell in return.

"My own mother sold me at 14 to Leon, and now, now she's saying it was my entire fault, it always is." I gently dust off my pants and look at me shoes for non existent scuff marks.

"At least you have parents." Axel shoots back. I glare angrily. "You want my parent's Axel? then fucking take them, have your father sexually abusing you since you were 12 and fucking a man who's 11 years older then you because your mom sold you like you were her fucking possession for needle of heroine." I didn't even realize I was screaming. I see people watching intently.

It looks like I had completely forgotten we were in a public place. "I'm starting to think that this isn't going to work Riku." Axel says. When the last word passes through his lips I feel it happening again. All that pain surfacing those thoughts coming back.

I'm selfish

I'm a prick

I only care about myself

I feel no regret

But this time I am guilty. Guilty of never blaming myself for being this way by choice. Instead I'm always blaming him. My boyfriend who I used to tell everyday I loved him and those words now I barely speak.

I wonder if it hurts him to know that I'm such a whore. It makes me think does he cry when he's alone whishing things were back to normal again. Like when we used to run around playing tag.

But I guess were too old for those games. I only play one game and that's gambling. I gamble my life, everything I have to win one thing. Drugs. I guess it's the only thing that keeps me going even though everyone hates me I crawl into his arms. Leon. He always wanted to love me when all his other whores were gone, or when he and his girlfriend Larxene had a fight.

I was an object of desire for most. No one could touch me. I want to fly away it's always been humans dreams to fly. Soaring above the city but the closest to flying I'll ever be is snorting a line of coke in the middle of a dirty crack house. Reality comes back to me as I feel a fist connecting to my jaw.

"Riku wake the fuck up and look around you, there is things people regret doing and you have to forget about it and move on you went along with it by choice by keeping your mouth shut, you think everything is so damn hard but it's not." I raise a hand to my jaw. I can already feel it swelling.

"I know what I've done but I've been punished for years for shit I've never done, I've been arrested 6 times, possession of narcotics, underage drinking, vandalism, drinking and driving, fleeing from the police, breaking and entering and guess what, Leon did it, he hid the drugs, got me caught on purpose for a laugh, and know what? no one is laughing."

I feel rage welling in my chest. I hate them all because I'm an escape route. Nothing more but less than dirt. I'm a used possession that anyone have for a night or a couple of hours for 50 bucks and a dealer for a strong man.

"Riku, I hate you when your like this! before you used to tell me you loved me everyday and now when I say it, i dont get it back." Axel screams at me.

"What do you want me to do Axel? say it when I dont feel it, I can't feel anything anymore, I hate everything but Idont hate you." I reply. I know it's true how could I hate the man I took a bullet for a couple of months back.

I never told Axel this but I knew who those men were, Leon's hit men, I was getting to involved with Axel, and he new eventually I would leave him.

"I know Riku, i'm sorry about what I said before I can't not love you babe." Axel replied. I felt Axel's warm hand in mine and he led me back towards my house.

"I'll make it right, just for you Axel." I said sqeezing his hand. Axel shakes his head at me. " Don't just do it for me, do it for yourslef." he replies. I simply nod.

_"And for the record I do love you more than anything in the world."_ I added in my head.

_we were still so young, and I truly did belive that with Axel, everything would be all right. It's like wht those cheap romantic films always say, its better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all. _

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Ahhh, yes I did just end off with a pathetic cliche. lol

but until the next chapter

read and review friends tell me what you think


	3. Chapter 2 keep on keeping on

**ok long time no review eh? life is busy as usual and i find that i'm unfortunetly growing up. yep i'm now 16 and as i'm constantly told i should GROW UP! but guess what? i'm not going to i'm going to countinue to write and update my fan fics so here it is a dangerous game...**

**DISCLAIMER- i do not own kingdom hearts in any way, shape, or form**

Remember all those times that we used to play,  
you were lost and I would save you.  
I don't think those feelings will ever fade;  
you were born a part of me.  
I was never good at hiding anything,  
My thoughts break me,  
Do you understand what you mean to me,  
You are my faith.

-Cure my tragedy by Cold.

How long had it been since I had decided to take control of my life? Months, Years. I glance down at my sickly skinny body, I'm pale, I haven't washed my hair in days, and I feel like complete shit.

I grab a towel from my room, and head to the bathroom as soon as I had walk inside my home, I say nothing to my mother as I walk past her. Hayner is beside my mother holding her, comforting her. I glare at him as I walked by the living room.

I look at my reflection in the bathroom mirror; I can't stand the sight because I used to be so healthy looking, and young. I put my towel over the mirror, and step into the shower.

Axel stayed in Riku's room; he wandered around observing all the small oddities the silver haired boy had collected over the years. There was a picture of Sora, and Kairi holding hands and smiling. Posters of bands, and a shelf filled with collector Star Wars toys.

Those were the days. When all they did was sit around and play with those little figures, Riku was always Darth Vader, and Axel Luke Skywalker. The red head smiled at the memories. As Axel walked away from the shelf something caught his eye.

A crumpled piece of paper was sticking out from under the bed. Axel leaned down and smoothed out the creases. It looked old there was dust collected on it, but he could still make out the black slanted handwriting.

_Dear Riku,_

_I love you so much, you're such a beautiful child and I hope you grow up really happy ok? You're probably wondering why I'm writing you this letter, I'm going to explain something really important. So put down your book about fairy tales and listen._

_So about __16 years ago I got married to your beautiful mother, I love her so much too. Anyways that's when we had our first son named Sephiroth, I know Riku we never told you about him. You have every right to hate me but at that time we couldn't afford to have a kid, so we put your big brother up for adoption. 6 years later your mother had another child we named him Riku, yep that's you. _

_We looked and looked for Sephiroth to take custody of him but someone already did, his name was Squall. Squall is evil Riku he took your brother away and hurt him, he told me the day I tracked him down that he would mind having the set. That means you Riku, this man will stop at nothing, bribery, force, torture the list goes on but he will not quit until you're his. _

_I'm afraid that I have to leave now Riku; he knows I'm your father and I already bought a new house for you and your mother in another city, and everything so he can't track you down, using me. _

_Promise me one thing Riku, you will not fall into his trap and, take care of your mother for me ok Kiddo! Also when you turn 16 years old, go to 2306 27 street on October 30__th__, and if I'm still alive I will meet you there. _

_I love you so much Riku never forget that,_

_Love: Daddy_

Axel stared at the page so Riku had a brother, who was now 26. Axel stared at the date October 30th that was in 3 months. The red head placed the paper back under the bed to look back up to see a furious, wet, silver haired Riku.

When I had walked into my room, I saw Axel placing my paper back under the bed. I cringed at the thoughts that were filled on the paper.

"So I leave for 10 minutes to have a shower and you dig through my room?" I said coldly. "How did you like glancing into my life and seeing just how fucked up it was, how my father left me and got himself killed." I added angrily grabbing up a pair of boxers from the open drawer and slipping them on.

"I never knew when you father disappeared, that he did it to protect you." Axel whispered. I looked into Axel's eyes they were filled with that one emotion I thought I lost. Love. It seemed though that every fiber of my being was filled with fury.

"It never worked I was on the look out for this Squall, wanting to please my father! I was daddy's little boy through and through back then." I screamed out. God it hurt so much to feel that pain again.

"Leon was Squall, Squall is Leon, I broke my promise I got involved with Squall met my brother for the first time 2 years ago! Axel, I saw him look at me, hate me, all I wanted was to be a family again! Why is it so damn hard to make people love me?" I screamed louder now.

"Why do they hate me?" I asked quietly, my throat felt dry and horse from screaming my feelings out at the top of my lungs. "No one hates you Riku, they don't understand you." Axel whispered in my ear. I don't remember him even getting off the bed to hold me.

I stand still not wanting to let my self cry anymore; I never want to feel that weak or vulnerable again. "Please don't Axel, all you do is break down my barriers I put up to protect myself." I say attempting to push the red head off of my self.

Axel only hold's on tighter. I let him hold me but I don't return the embrace. He doesn't quite understand what I'm trying to prove. I wish I knew what I was trying to prove.

"Riku, I'm not trying to take you apart and see what makes you tick, that's not my intentions, I just want to hold you, love you." Axel said holding me tighter.

I stand at a loss of words, not really loss more of I don't know how to reply so I open my mouth and close it.

"I know." I finally say, "I know." I put my arms around Axel and hug him back as tight as I can, hoping that he won't ever leave.

"Riku come down stairs now." My mom yells to me. I let go of Axel and give him a gentle kiss on the lips to show him that I still care about him. "I never meant to hurt you; I was just so full of myself back then." I say it to myself and not aloud I was never one for all the hopeless romantic things in life.

When I walk down the stairs to face my mother I hold onto Axel's hand tightly to give me more courage and to remind me to keep my temper in check.

"Riku, I talked to Seifer." She said quietly. I know she's angry that I left, but that's why I hate her.

"Ya and your point is?" I reply coldly. I feel my hand being squeezed. I take it as a warning to keep my self calm. Axel knows me to well; he knows how I will react.

"Riku you know I love you right?" she questions. I could hear her hesitate when she spoke the words and I could hear the uncertainty in her voice.

I don't bother replying to that question so I figure my best bet was to ignore her last comment. "I said what's your point?" I reply.

I see my mother faltering and then I realize I know what's going on. I grip Axel's hand tightly and let go I walk over to my mother and push her down on the coach.

"What did you do?" I say angrily. "What did you tell him?" I yell louder. My heart is beating in my ears. "I told him that you need to go back again Riku, you need to live with him till you get back to normal." She said sobbing.

I feel the color drain from my face. _How could she_ I think frantically to myself. My own mother was going to pawn me off to Seifer in hopes I some how get over being so messed up!

I glare at her. "I'm not leaving without Axel this time, I bringing him with me so Seifer can't fuck me over again." I say I turn to walk away, but I feel her cold hands gripping my wrist tightly.

"Let go." I say trying to rip my hand away from hers. "I'm not trying to trick you again Riku, please trust me, I'm your mother." She says wiping tears from her eyes.

I look into her blue eyes and all I see is darkness. "A son can't choose who his mother is." I say back prying her bony fingers off my now bruised wrist.

And then for the second time in one day I walk out of the house, Axel's close behind me. "Riku who is Seifer?" he asks. I smile at the name. "My mom's older brother, he runs a facility out of town, he calls it the Palace of Hope, but in reality it's a detention facility commonly known as Half-moon." I reply.

"Why would she send you there? Isn't that for delinquents?" Axel asks. I nod "she sends me there when she feels that I'm too much to handle, I go, I stay, I learn why I hate everything, and I meet gang members that know me through Leon."

"Sounds pretty gay." Axels replies. I smile and let out a small laugh. "see Riku your already getting better your starting to laugh at my stupid comments." Axel says jumping into the air and grabbing me.

"lets go to my house, Larxene is home and making super tonight, and besides you know how much she adores her little Ri-ku." I laugh.

_What can I say? That my life is so damn hard? It may sound like it but when I think about it I have the __world's greatest boyfriend and I know that no matter what Axel will love me. _

_Is it so hard to believe that I thought that was true, there are always 3 sets of bad, and I'm still on number one, it was only going to get worse. _

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**ya i know not very exciting but it would be really awsome if some one reviewed even if it was to tell me that i sucked at writing or to never write again i dont care, all i want to know is that someone actually read it lol **

**so review please XD**


	4. Chapter 3 last night in heaven

**Ok so I've finally updated again, and I'm still thinking I can try and promise an update every week, hope I get more reviews though.**

**Disclaimer- I do not own kingdom hearts….sadly **

Make me believe,

Lie if you have to.

Stay here forever,

Tell me this won't end.

Make me believe,

Know that I need you.

Don't leave me alone here.

This doesn't have to end,

This doesn't have to end.

-make me believe by Tupelo Honey

**last night in heaven**

I helped Axel pack some of his things into his backpack. I didn't bother about packing my own stuff since Seifer usually kept clothes there for me.

"Hey Riku which pair of under wear should I bring? Pink or black?" Axel asks holding up a pair of fluorescent pink briefs and a black pair in the other hand.

"Umm, black I think I've just been blinded." I reply covering my eyes with my hand.

"Where the hell did you get those anyways?"

"My dear sister thought they were sooo me when she went to that gay store in the mall, Lacy and Kink for men." Axel said smiling. I give him a little push.

"I'm being serious there is no such thing as Lacy and Kink in the mall." I reply. Axel started to laugh. "Well I thought I would give it a try, but anyways I have no idea where she got them."

"I think there rather sexy." Axel added before tossing them back into the bottom of his closet.

"Get down stairs children I finished making supper." Larxene yells up the stairs. I quickly jump off the bed and run down efficiently beating Axel to the supper table.

"Oh my little Ri-ku, you look underfed good thing I made you lots." She said placing a huge plate in front of me; it was over loaded with chicken, potatoes, vegetables, enough to feed three of me.

"And what am I your next door neighbor." Axel asks sitting down and staring at his small plate. "Riku is a growing boy and needs his nutrition." Larxene snaps. Axel mumbled something under his breath that sounded something like _old hag._

When I finished eating my food I pushed the plate away, my stomach so full I could feel the band on my pants feel tighter. Throughout the whole meal Larxene chatted with me about worthless things, occasionally asking Axel for his opinion.

"Thank you so much for the supper Larxene you are an amazing cook." I said. I stood up and gathered the plates to help clean up but I felt an intense stare on my back.

"Ri-ku sweet heart, your not about to clean up my mess are you?" Larxene asked me sweetly. I already know where this conversation is headed.

"Please Larxene you slaved over the stove to make such a magnificent meal for us and you expect me not to help you do the dishes?" I say still continuing with gathering the rest of the dishes.

"Honey you are the guest of honor. Axel can clean up; he does fuck all anyways won't you my baby brother?" Larxene asked daring her brother to refuse.

"Yes. Anything for my bitch of a sister." Axel replied sweetly grabbing some glasses from the table. I put my fist in my mouth and attempt to stifle my laughter. God I had missed there arguments so much.

"Awww that's so sweet you little shit, I hope you die like maybe a fork accidentally stabbing you in the neck." Larxene said back just as sweetly as Axel had said it. There conversation sounded like it was between two old friends who were talking kindly about one another with complements.

Except the only thing lacking in there conversation was the compliments had conveniently been switched out for insults.

"If only I was so lucky you whore, then I wouldn't have to look at that ugly face of yours, tell me did you ask the hair dresser to make you look like a giant cockroach with that hair, or is that just natural for you?"

I quickly walk out of the room, and it seems they didn't even notice. I think back to what Axel said to Larxene, he should realize that I don't like people using the word whore, it's too harsh, and it made me think of what I would have been called back then.

I run my fingers through my hair and let out a large yawn. I can't remember when I've ever felt this full and clean before, and I actually felt like sleeping for once.

I hear the tinkling sound of china breaking. "GOD DAMN IT AXEL." The familiar voice of Larxene echoed through the rooms.

"THAT WAS A PLATE FROM MY BEST FRIEND, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY DAMN KITCHEN NOW!" she screamed.

Looks like Axel got his wish about not doing the dishes in the end. "Riku, Riikkuuu," Axel's voice yells as he comes skipping into room. "Let's go up to my room and lock the door before I die." He says happily grabbing my hand and pulling me after him.

We ran up the stairs and confined ourselves in his room, I could still hear Larxene swearing from the kitchen. "So Riku, what do you want to do for the rest of this fine evening?" Axel asks me. I know what I want and I can tell by the little smile on his lips he wants it too.

"I want you." I say huskily. Axel gives me a wide smile. "If you want it come over here and get it." Axel replied laying down on the bed. I walk over and straddle his hips. As I look down at him, I admire his face. He had such beautiful eyes, and skin. In the summer I always loved how the sun hit his hair to make it look like it was real fire.

"Tell me what you want Axel." I say leaning down and kissing his neck. I trace his jaw with my lips and slowly work my way to his lips. "I want everything you are, I want you." He says. His eyes are closed and he looks relaxed. I smile typical Axel answer.

"I know." I whisper back, running my hands under his shirt. I trace a long scar that tainted the once perfect ivory skin, I smile I remember that one grand theft auto age 13, me and Axel. We fish tailed on one of the old roads, spitting gravel behind us, we rolled it 4 times and if Axel wouldn't have been wearing a seatbelt, it could have either killed him or major surgery, I was lucky to only get thrown out the car, for not wearing one.

"You're perfect you know that?" I say kissing the scar. Axel leaned down and pulled my head up towards him. "I'm not, I can never be perfect unless your by my side." He whispers, and kisses my lips.

My heart is beating louder in my chest, I feel hear the pounding in my ears. I pull away and smile at him. "Thank you." I reply.

The rest of the night is a blur, our bodies rub against one another, as hands roam over every inch we can both get our hands on. I feel again, that tingling in my chest, the feeling of being loved for everything I was, and everything I am.

I lay next to Axel panting and trying to catch my breath; he pulls the sheet up and around our naked bodies, and kisses my forehead, murmuring words into my ear. Then I drift in to a deep sleep, and into the comfortable warmth holding me.

one word crosses my mind...

i'm loved

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**read and review people**


	5. Chapter 4 the long road

**ok so long time no update eh? lol I've been really busy trying to get on with my life and get over other people. **

**but I decieded to update this story since its been so long, but onto the next chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER-I do not own Kingdom Hearts. **

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_I try to make it through my life, in my way there's you_

_I try to make it through these lies, thats all I do_

_Just dont deny it, just dont deny it and deal with it, __ya deal with it_

_You try to break me, you want to break me, bit by bit, thats just part of it_

_If you were dead or still alive, I don't care, I don't care_

_And all the things you left behind, I don't care, I don't care_

_I don't care -Apocalyptica ft. Adam Gontier_

The Long Road

The sunrise from Axel's room is one thing I'm going to miss

The sunrise from Axel's room is one thing I'm going to miss. All the colors reflect of the ocean then hit the house, it's a beauty I find hard to put into words, but I know the feeling.

I always feel the same thing, the feeling of calmness, and knowing. Knowing that no matter what happens the sun will always rise, each morning. It will never disappointment.

"Riku, what are you doing." Axel asks. He crawls to the end of the bed and reaches for my hand. "You feel cold babe, how long have you been up for?"

I sit down on the edge of the bed "awhile." I reply and lean against his warm chest. "What's worrying you?" Axel says while he strokes my head, running his hands through my hair.

"I'm worried about going to half moon today, I'm scared about what will happen when they find out I'm a deserter." I whispered. I don't want to get Axel hurt but if any of those delinquents catch wind that left Leon, they'll kill me.

"What am I chopped liver? I'll be with you every step of the way." Is the reply I get back. "I know I guess I just wanted to hear you say it."

"Tell me about half-moon." Axel says. I nod.

"Well I'll tell you about the last time I was there."

"It was last year, and everyday I would go to breakfast, and talk to all the other kids who knew me; they called me Ri that was Leon's nickname for me." I pause for a moment and scrunch my face up to try and remember those days.

"Since I was high up on the status board I never had to worry much about getting beat up, or raped. They were all actually really afraid of me."

Axel nods and I feel him hold me tighter. "Are you sure you want me to keep going?" I ask. "Ya, I think I need to know." He replies. So I continue.

"One day while I was there, I saw this boy younger than I was he was probably about 13, another guy I'm guessing about 16-17 trying to rape him." I cringed as I said this; it hurt so much to be reminded of the past.

"I was so mad that uncle Seifer didn't watch for this shit better, I got up to him and pushed him off, guess he was higher up on the food chain then anyone else, he belonged to some macho gang, nobody was willing to help me when he started to hit me, except one, his name was Sora."

"You had a friend." Axel said. I nod "He was a very nice friend and I couldn't thank him enough for helping me, said that maybe when he needed rescuing I could help him out." I shut my eyes and take a deep breath.

"Sora was a little guy, skinny and short, but I guess he had some muscle, got the thug off me and smashed his head off a wall, almost killed him." I smile at that thought. "Who knew that such a little thing packed so much punch?"

"You would be surprised about people, and what they can be capable of when they need to save someone, one time a lady lifted a van off a kid who got hit, all out of adrenaline." Axel said. I nod and continue on with my story.

"We became friends there, but there was a riot one night, probably about a week later, you probably think this isn't sounding like a detention facility, but to all of the kids it was more like prison."

"I know why you hate it so much." Axel adds.

"Now back to the riot, the big guy Sora beat up had some buddies, right before curfew; before the cells closed they ambushed Sora and started to beat him. I tried to help but I couldn't because Seifer had pushed me back. The cells locked and they all had him inside." I feel Axel's arm around my waist and a hand rubbing my back.

"If it's to hard Riku, I'll understand." He says. I shake my head in defiance. "Its better if you know." Is my reply.

"Take a deep breath." He whispers in my ear.

"No one could get to them. I remember the screams coming from inside, and then silence. I had pushed my way through the crowd and there he was, that little brown haired boy who saved me, but his face was bloody and ruined. They had some how smuggled in a knife and they stabbed him. When the cell door opened and I ran inside, the guards grabbed the other boys. I held Sora in my arms." I choke out. Tears run down my face.

"I failed him." I whisper, my body is shaking from the force of crying. "I couldn't protect him."

"sshhh, its ok, you could do nothing." Axel says rocking me, and holding my face in his chest.

"I held my friend for his last dying breaths and he never said anything as he died, all he did was stare at me, I called for medics, an ambulance anything that might save him, but no one came, oh god Axel no one came to his rescue." I yell.

I'm crying so hard now I find it impossible to breath. I gasp trying to catch my breath. "Riku, babe, you gotta calm down." Axel says to me, he sounds worried.

I still gasp out for air, I feel dizzy and faint. "Cant…breath..." I managed to squeeze out. "It's a panic attack; all you need to do is focus on breathing slower." I feel my self being pushed onto my back and Axel's presence beside me.

I can't really make out the words he's whispering to me, but they help me try and get my breath back. "I'm scared." I whisper. I get pulled into a tight embrace.

"Of what?" he asks. "Of failing you, like I did Sora. What if I can't protect you?" I ask him. Axel smiles at me, "Then I'll protect you, and myself, my heart will beat for the both of us." With that being said I close my eyes and slip away into awaiting darkness.

"Sleep, you need it." He whispers.

Axel walked down stairs, in a pair of brown sleep pants that clung loosely to his bony hips.

"Larx." Axel called as he walked down the stairs. A blonde head poked up from the bottom of the stairs.

"What ya need?" she asked. "You to buy me a pack of smokes." Larxene laughed. "Your a little shit all the time and you expect me to do that?" She lets out another laugh. "Here just give me the money and take one of my packs in my dresser drawer." Axel passed the money to his sister.

"What's on your mind?" she asks. And Axel shakes his head "not my place." And shrug's his shoulders.

"Is it because he's leaving today?" she asks. Axel takes a moment to try and collect his thoughts "possibly." With that last comment he walks away and back up the stairs.

Leaving a very confused Larxene standing alone in the hallway, giving a small sad smile as her brother walks away. "Your going to be hurt again baby brother." She murmurs.

Larxene picks up her purse and writes a note on the table, she tries not to cry as she writes on the paper that now has wet dots covering it.

Today is the day she goes for her doctor's appointment and, every year they check, for her sickness the same one her mother had, and every year she waits in the waiting room restlessly flipping through old magazines trying to calm the butterflies in her stomach.

So far every year she has breathed out a sigh of relief and went on with her life, but today is different, everyone is sad and moody, today is just not a good day, it has a haunting aura of despair.

Larxene takes a breath and walks out the door.

_Hey loser, _

_I'm going out for a bit, don't touch anything or wreak anything. By that I mean Axel! Hopefully won't be to long. Sorry I couldn't see you boys leave._

_I love you both so much and wish me luck. _

_Love Larxene…_

"Strange she wouldn't say goodbye." Axel thought to himself, as he read the note. The words still ring in his head but three in particular. _"Wish me luck"_

"Luck for what?" he asks himself aloud.

Then he smiles and walks away from the table. "What a weirdo, but I wouldn't have her any other way."

* * *

**ok so thats that chapter, review and tell me what you think. also I know i switched POV from Riku's but it goes back to his POV next chapter. **

**anyways read and review**


	6. Chapter 5 Gone

**Yep I had the urge to write tonight since I couldn't go out, and this is the result lol **

**Its full of unhappy things but its happy near the end of the chapter so smile!**

**anyways PLEASE PLEASE review if you read it just help's to know what people think I love opinions and critiscm. i would really appreciate it. **

**So in other words just dont creep on it and then not review :)**

Gone…

I woke up and he was gone, I got really scared, almost panicking thinking he may have left, but I was wrong as usual.

I walk down the stairs and I see Axel with his head in his hands. I walk over quietly and put my arms around him.

"What's wrong?" I ask, he doesn't answer.

I brush his red hair back to get a better look at his face. I can't tell what's going on inside of him but I'm really worried, I had never seen Axel act like this before.

He lifts his head and gives me a very nice false smile, and I almost believe it. "Nothing, sorry babe I spaced out you know me, dolly daydream."

I nod and kiss his forehead. "Tell me when you're ready ok?" I say quietly. Axel smirks and shakes his head.

"Sorry Riku, but this is a secret I can't for now, maybe in a couple of years." He replies. I nod at him and smile. I respect that with Axel and I will give him his privacy.

"Today is the day you know." Axel says. I smile and nod "Yep, and your going to be with me." He reaches forward and grabs my hands.

"Every step, every moment." He replies.

I give him a playful shove. "You're such a sap." He laughs, and pulls me in for a hug. "I know, and you like it."

Our little moment is interrupted by the sound of the door bell.

Axel walks to the porch and answers it I hear the thud of something hitting the floor. "Axel?" I call out. There no answer.

I reach over to Larxene's knife set and pull out the longest sharpest one she's got. "Get out!"

I yell from the kitchen I hide behind the island counter. My heart is pumping either from the adrenaline or the fear lurking in every corner of the house.

"Ri-ku." Someone calls. It sounds vaguely familiar and I rack my brain trying to remember.

I mentally start to narrow it down. _"Obviously someone close to me if they know my nick name, male." _

My eyes widen in surprise. "Zexion, go away or I will have to hurt you." I yell. There's laughter in the living room.

I poke my head around the counter corner and see the white shoes; they had blotches of red on them.

"I don't want to hurt you only talk." The shoes walk towards the counter. I take a breath and get onto my legs, leaning down still.

"Do it Riku" I whisper to myself.

I stand up and jump onto the counter, and slide across. Zexion stumbles back. "You little shit." He says with that smirk playing on his twisted lips.

I hold the knife out in front of me. _"Gotta be street smart again Riku"_ I think to myself.

I see him staring at me; I know what he's doing, looking for a weakness.

"What did you do to Axel?" I say coldly.

"What no hello? How you doing? I'm hurt; your red head boy toy is taking a nap."

"I swear…" I start to say but he cuts me off. "What? You'll do what Riku? We both know you don't have it in you, you were a pussy back then and you're a pussy now."

I let out a growl. "Tell me what you want." I say.

"Well if you must know I was supposed to pass on a message to you from Leon, I just sort of added on to it though with the whole hit Axel in the head with this wonderful metal bat." He says smiling.

I glare at him and keep my cool.

"Then spit it out."

"Ok 1- Leon says its very rude to hang up on someone, 2- you cant go to your uncle's there's a new man in there and he means business and won't hesitate to hurt you and 3 what a wonderful number he says he loves you."

I turn around and put the knife back in the wooden holder. I turn my back on Zexion and walk into to the porch.

Axel has a very large goose egg on his head and I can see the bruise all around it. "Grab me an ice pack from the freezer and the first aid kit."

I don't need to look, but I know Zexion's going to do it. "Babe." I whisper stroking the silky red strands on his forehead.

"I wonder if you can hear me still. You're probably going to be out of it for a while." I whisper and kiss his forehead.

"Does it hurt?" I ask touching the lump. It doesn't feel hard but soft; a lot of blood is filling in it.

Zexion passes me the first aid kit and I reach into it. "You're a dick." I say nonchantly.

"I know, sorry I was passing on a message from my self, Axel's a bastard." I shake my head.

The kit is filled with gauze and needles, antiseptic cream and other necessities.

My hand reaches and grabs the needle; I pull the lid off and gently stick it in the lump, I'm careful not to hurt him or let air get in it.

"Why are you doing that?" Zexion asks me.

I don't look at him but continue on with my task. I drain the blood out of the lump until I have a needle full. There's still more so I grab another one and do it again till the lump has diminished.

"Pass me the cream, gauze and tape." I say putting the other needle of blood down. The blue haired man passes me first the cream.

I put some on a q-tip and put it over the holes, then a gauze pad, and lastly tape it to his head.

"Here." Zexion says passing me a bag of peas. I finally look at the guilty face. "It molds better to the wound then ice." Is his reply I place it over top of my handy work.

"Look Riku, I'm sorry its just that, we used to be friends in the gang what happened to us?"

I sit down on the floor and motion a spot beside me. Zexion sits down and I rest my head on his shoulder like in the old times.

"Zexion, we can still be friends but I'm not Leon's anymore, I'll say this once the next time you act careless and try to pass on a message, I'll kill you before you make up the drive way."

I say it as calmly as I can. "I didn't want to ya know? But boss's orders, I've always admired you Riku for the courage you showed when you faced Leon, I never heard you scream when he whipped you, beat you, and did all those horrible things."

I shut my eyes and look at the carpet. "Zexion if you value our friendship then you have to leave the gang behind, were not invincible the cops are all over, we can't trust anyone but ourselves."

I smile and look up. "The funny thing is though, in the past few days, everything has literally went to shit, I mean Larxene leaves, I know for a fact Axel has a secret, and it bugs me that he won't tell me, and then you come here and bash him with a fucking metal bat."

Zexion laughs. "Its not that funny but I got caught up in the moment, for all seriousness I didn't mean to hit him that hard."

A hand reaches over to mine. "Friends?" Zexion says. His hand is cold as it rest on mine.

"Only if you do as I say." He nods and kisses my forehead. "I'll come back for you and Axel when I get out and a safe place, if he can forgive me." I smile sheepishly.

"I can guarantee that until the day you die, he will hold that against you but I'm sure I can talk him around someday. "

I stand up and walk Zexion to the door. "Good luck." I whisper. He smiles and walks through the door.

Gone…

**Ok you read now click the pretty button and tell me something like for an example **

**-nice...**

**or - I enjoyed that **

**Anything really lol**


	7. Chapter 6 Train wreck

so heres my update of a dangerous game

don't doubt that this story will have no happy ending because it will

read, review, and enjoy chapter 6

* * *

Chapter 6- train wreck

When the handsome unconscious Axel woke up I was very surprised he didn't start bitching, he just had that dazed look in his eyes. They pretty much screamed what the fuck.

"Hey sleeping beauty." I say gently running my fingers through his hair. I lean down and kiss his lips. "You feel ok?" Axel moans in response.

"I feel like I a train hit me." He murmured. "It hurts to think." He added as an after thought. I laugh. "I guess we have nothing to worry about." I get a tap on the forehead.

"I know your pissed off Axel, but just hear me out." I wait for a sign to continue. Axel glares at me. There's my sign. "He had a job and he doesn't really have a choice, you know?" I say Axel stares at me.

"Every one has a fucking choice why are you defending him?" Axel yells out. He pulls himself out of my lap and quickly grabs his head in pain.

"fuck." He screams. I place my hand on either side of his head and gently pull him down so it's back to resting on my lap.

"I'm not giving excuses so you wont be angry I'm giving you reasons why the things that happen do happen." I sigh as I say this. "There was a time when I refused to do what I was told, I told Leon that it was ridiculous and went to walk away." Axel quickly cuts me off.

"Hospital right?" I nod. "Yep I went missing for a week and some guy found me and took me to the hospital, broken ribs, concussion, my wrist was broken, and I was so badly beaten they thought I was going to die."

"What were you supposed to do?" Axel asks me quietly. "Sell my self as a bribe for a cop on the inside who refused to give anymore information after the mini massacre in one of the old shipping bins." I smile and stroke Axels head.

"I never did because I loved you, I didn't know what you would say if I did how you would act, back then I wasn't very nice to you, constantly trying to push you away when really you were trying to save me." I stare out the window.

Axel follows my gaze. "3 more hours and we have to go to your uncles." I say. "Were in this together ok so no matter what we stick together." Axel says he pulls my head down to place a light kiss on my lips.

"Axel, I know you like to keep things private but where is Larxene?" I ask. The question was bugging me but the thing that made me more uneasy was the feeling that it was something bad.

"Every year she leaves for one day some where, and then she comes home, sometimes its days last year she wrote a note gone for a week, I guess I never paid attention." I nod my head

"You know though right?" it was axels turn to nod. "I think it's because of this sickness, my mom had, and the doctors are spooked that it might run in the genes, but I don't know Larx never seemed sick."

"What's it called?" I asked. Axel was silent for a moment, "I think its aids, ha ha just kidding." But before he could continue I slapped him across the head. I instantly felt bad.

"Oh my god." He yelled holding his head in pain. "I'm sorry." I tried not to laugh but the look of pain was quite funny, Axel's nose was all scrunched up and wrinkles on his forehead.

"Ok, it doesn't have a name I guess they don't know what it is but it fucks with your head, like you can't tell reality from hallucinations, mom used to miss days on end, or we would come home and she would be gone because she went to work, but reality was she never worked after she had me."

"is there a cure?" I asked it hoping that I would never in my life have to witness that, if it took over Axel. Axel shrugged his shoulders.

"ya, its death, it keeps happening till you die, Larx once told me that when she visited mom in the hospital, that she asked her if she passed her math test they studied together for, she was in high school and that memory was back when she was in middle school, turns out she had the disease for a long time, it just got worse later on, its not a big deal."

I twist my hands in my lap, begging my self not to over react, not to cry or scream because for me this was a very big deal, I would die if I had to watch it happening to the boy I love so much.

"Riku, I'm fine nothing screwy going on." Axel tries to reassure me but the jokes aren't funny, I'm being completely serious. "Why don't you get tested?" I ask. His laughter rang through out the room. "I don't need to it only happens in the older people like I said my mom was about 21 when she was guessed to have diagnosed with it."

I stand up abruptly and start to walk around the room; my legs feel like there floating and my head is starting to spin. I start to breath slowly, calming my nerves that are running out of control.

"21, that's not far away." I manage to say, my voice sort of croaks as I say it. I'm scared so unbelievably scared that it will happen.

"I still have time besides I won't get it; I love you too much to get it." I feel those strong arms embrace me and I start to feel safe again. But I love the feeling, and I can't picture my self losing that.

"Axel?" I whisper. He kisses my neck for an answer. " what if you do, and I end up losing you we cant live a life pretending that it will never happen." He sighs and I feel the warm breath ghost over me.

"That's why I never told you, you worry about something that doesn't matter, I'm worried about now not the future." My fists clench, now he did it, why would he say that? All it does is piss me off that he brushes shit off like its nothing.

"Don't fuck around." I say coldly. "What I'm talking about is concerning OUR future, and what's going to happen when I loose you, I can't just smile and go on with life." Hands are in fists, and I try to stay in control.

"Riku calm the fuck down." He yells, but I cant, my breaths are coming out faster and I can't breathe. My body is shaking and I fall to the ground, my face feels hot and tingly, my ears are on fire, but it's my head that's spinning out of control.

"Breathe Riku." He yells grabbing me; I pull away quickly and keep trying to get air into me. "Stay-away-from—me." I manage to chock out, between the frantic gasps.

"_Your crazy, just breathe." Leon yelled, my body is on the ground but I'm so scared I can't get my breath back. He grabs my arms and shakes me roughly. _

"_You're weak Riku, pathetic." He spits out, I have tears in my eyes and my heart is breaking. "I'm the only one who cares about you; I don't try and control you like HE does." _

"_HE." It rings through my body. "Axel?" I say aloud. He doesn't control me I say to my self. He loves m, and wants nothing but the best for me. _

_Leon laughs and pulls me into a hug. "He does, he really does." I nod. I can breathe again. _

"You're trying to control me Axel just like Leon said." I yell. I run to the door and put my shoes on and I run, I don't want to stop, but I can't.

"Riku!" he screams my name down the street but I'm going to the one person who I trusted because he was the only person I knew, Leon.

"_You can't run forever kid." Zexion says holding my shoulder. "Sooner or later it's gonna catch up to you, then you'll hit rock bottom." _

_I smile. "I'm not running away, I'm running towards him, Leon isn't the answer." He shakes his head. _

"_How sure are you kid?" I'm at a momentary loss of what to reply. _

"_I don't know, I'm just going to keep doing what my heart tells me to do right, maybe I can get some answers then." _

_We laugh together, and I'm smiling, I'm happy_

"Why is this happening?" I yell. And then I realized my life was spinning out of control and I couldn't do anything about it. I was lost again.

I find a pay phone and dial collect. "Riku." I say when the voice asks who the call is from.

"Leon I'm sorry take me back I cant live like this any more." I sob. He whispers words of comfort to me and I feel better and better with each minute. There's a knock on the booth and he's standing there holding his cell phone.

I jump out the door and into his arms. I'm crying so hard and apologizing. His arms are stronger but they don't have the same effect as Axel's I don't feel absolutely loved but I can feel safer knowing what's going to happen from now.

"Riku, its ok babe, I'm here and were together again, I promise I'll be better, living without out you taught me something." He says.

I remember those words all the time.

"_I promise I'll never hurt you."_

"_I promise I won't leave you." _

"_I promise to love you." _

"_I promise its going to get better." _

I believed every word some of them rang true others were just as empty as I felt inside.

"I don't want to leave you again." I say and I lean up and kiss him. I hope this decision was right but I've always made bad choices.

"Promise me what I'm doing is right." I say when I pull away.

And Leon smiles. "It is." We get into his car and drive back to his house, we were silent but I held onto his hand tightly as we drove. I still cling onto the last piece of hope I think I have.


	8. Chapter 7 Saftey net

**An eternity later here is the next chapter **

**Hope you like it**

**Thank you to "Dreams of" for reminding me of an update and for the advice**

* * *

I turn my face against the sun  
And I wish my heart could burn  
I force my eyes to open wide  
God you made me cold inside

-Nomy-this heart of ice

Axel's fists pounded into the cement ground. His hair was all over and his eyes burned green fire. He could feel it; he was going to kill Leon, slowly and painfully.

Every single member of that worthless gang was going to die. Riku would never be manipulated again.

"Stupid! Stupid sickness." Axel yelled. Yeah it was wrong of him he should never have told Riku.

Axel paces the room occasionally stopping to throw things or to punch the wall. Axel reached down and grabbed the phone.

"You reached me, but I'm busy so leave a message." Larxene's happy voice says.

"Larx its Axel Riku ran and I don't know what to do phone me as soon as you get this." He hung up.

"Fuck it." Axel yells. He runs to the door and slips on his shoes running outside. Darkness is falling already and the redhead continues to run. If Riku could live his life running so could he, he could run until his sides felt like they were bursting or his lungs collapsed, he wouldn't stop until he got Riku back. That was a promise.

* * *

The bed was cold; the sheets were rough and stiff. I'm not used to it; his bed still feels like sleeping on a lumpy chair. I roll over and see the empty space where Leon lay last night.

I kick the blankets off me and sit up. I don't feel too good and my eye's hurt…and my heart. It took so long to heal then I had to go and break it all over again, I had to wreak my life because I'm selfish and fall back to the life I said I hated.

There's a soft knock on the door. "Come in." I call out. I cringe I see Zexion standing in the door hands on his hips glaring at me. He walks in and shuts the door behind him.

"You're stupid Riku, so stupid and selfish and…and stupid." He snaps out. I nod my head "all that and more I know." I say. Zexion grabs me and shakes me roughly, pulling me from the bed.

"You had it all Riku you were safe with Axel then you had to come back to this shit hole and fall back to the life you hated and wanted to escape. What makes you think it's going to be different?"

"I…" Zexion cuts me off. "Your dead Riku, you're going to die inside walk about lifelessly, and this time you will never ever be able to leave. Do you think Leon will let you escape him again? Your only way out now is a bullet."

"Then it's my choice. It may be stupid and reckless but I would rather be with Leon hating my life then with Axel then he gets sick and dies." I feel my anger rising and I need something to control it.

"You're going to give up those happy moments; those memories to be used here instead, at least cherish what you have Riku, or now what you HAD."

"I need security and to know that I'm not going to be left alone and hurt."

"So you leaving Axel made him happy? That didn't hurt him? What about you Riku? Do you feel better leaving Axel to rot, get sick and die without you beside him?

I put my head in my hands and try to hold off the tears. "I don't know it happened so fast I needed to get out before I got to deep." I say quietly. "It would have been better if he never met me."

Zexion stares at me and shakes his head in disappointment. "I always thought once you got your shit together and got out of here you would actually do something with your life… I guess I was wrong about you."

"What are you doing then Zexion, you told me the same thing that you were gonna leave, make a new life." I snarl. He may be my friend but I'm not going to take this, I won't be guilt tripped into thinking I made the wrong choice.

"Leon has someone I love working for them too, after I get him out safely then I'll leave but until then I'm still a lap dog."

I sigh and lean back into the pillows. "The closer Axel got the more vulnerable I felt, and the more worried I got that he might get hurt because of me."

"I know you were scared and you panicked but look around you Riku, this is the life isn't it? When you get older maybe have a kid are you going to tell them the life you had with Leon or the life you had with Axel?"

Before I could reply there was a knock on the door. Zexion walked over and opened it revealing Saix.

"Riku Leon wants you down in the meeting room, and you're with me Zexion we have some stuff to pick up."

I see the way Zexion smiles at Saix. I raise my eyebrows almost questioningly, but neither of them seems to notice. So Saix is the one that needs to get out, the man who single handedly took down 6 cops and a small gang on the back alley of Jasmine café.

Saix stands in the door way and whispers quietly in Zexion's ear. He looks at the floor and nods I manage to catch bits of the conversation.

"I know….nothing happened….3 cops." Saix clenches his fist and his whispers start turning into his normal voice.

"They were all dead when I got there, planted evidence anyways so they can trace it back…" he cuts off and looks over Zexion' shoulder at me.

"Hurry up." He says turning away.

"Riku get going, you heard him…and be safe I will force you out if your not gone within the next 2 weeks, I will drag you out of here." He says shutting the door.

I frown and feel the temptation to bash my head of the wall. I reach for my cell phone and see 26 missed calls blinking on my screen all from Axel. I shut my phone and hold it close to me.

"Sorry red but I gotta keep us both safe from him." I stand up and put my jeans back on and steal one of Leon's blue shirts, of course its big and I look ridiculous but I really don't care its clean and comfortable.

I quietly walk out of the room closing the door behind me and down the hall. There are rooms on either side each labeled to the main gang members. I see Saix's door that looks like a bloody handprint or maybe paint? I don't really now and I know I don't want to.

******

The meeting room is actually a dining room with two doors on opposite sides with a big brown table and rolly computer chairs. I snort thinking back to the time when Leon was gone and me and Zexion rolled around the room on the chairs colliding into one another then pushing one another through the halls. Of course it was all fun and games until Zexion pushed me down the stairs and I fractured my wrist.

I open the door and it seems to be in progress, so I feel awkward and out of place, in my too big t-shirt and seeing all the faces staring at me.

I remember what Leon said to me.

"_You're important Riku, never feel ashamed or that you're below anyone else. You are mine and you should always walk with your head up, if they got a problem they deal with me." _

"_It's weird though, they all stare and I feel like there judging me because I'm…" I stop and look away._

"_You're what? Different? Or that I love you and no one else can ever have you?"_

_I smile and put my arms around Leon's waist. "Because I'm yours and they might think I'm not good enough." _

"_You will always be good enough, you're my Riku and you should walk proud like me and don't take shit from no one." _

I put my head in the air and walk through the room Leon continues speaking like nothing but glares at everyone who thinks they can look over.

I sit beside him in a chair and I feel him place his hand on my leg, and give it a reassuring squeeze.

"We need more Leon; we can't make an actual profit off of small amounts." A man in a suit said. I recognized him as a coke dealer.

"Ray is right we need more then 10 pounds the way we sell and the way you sell it seems high, people by that then sell themselves and make a profit, if we decided to sell lower amounts only our profit would be great." The man across from Ray is short bald and wearing a hoody and sweats.

I look at him and feel the need to ask if he dressed in the dark today and that even though I'm wearing Leon's shirt I do not look as trashy and ridiculous as a 50 year old man trying to be young.

"we'll discuss that later as the 3 of us but until then I have a business to run so we can all meet back here next month on the 15th." Leon stands up and takes my hand.

"Let's go talk." He whispers I smile and follow him. Leon may be a gang leader and work with the scum of the city but I was always glad he had this Haven house, rich side of town, huge house, beautiful backyard, and no one could touch us.

"I'm glad you came home." Leon said. I nod and squeeze his hand a little tighter.

"I couldn't be away; it was too hard, trying to be someone else."

"I understand that I just didn't think that out of everyone you would be the one to leave maybe Zexion, or Marluxia, but not you."

I lead him out to the porch and we sit on the swing chair, my head resting on his shoulder. "I know I never really know what I'm doing or what I plan to do I always panic and run it's what I do best."

"What about your redhead?" he asks off hand I know for a fact that Leon doesn't want to let on that he wants…or needs to know about Axel. I know it's for reassurance and that he wants to hear me say I hate him, waste of time; he only wanted to hurt me. Everything Leon did to me…

"It wasn't going to work out, he was too busy trying to change me, then accepting who I am, I couldn't stand being boxed in and he's sick, well Larexne is and Axel might get it to in a couple of years."

"So you came back because you don't want to go through the pain of losing him?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Honestly all I know is we got into a fight about it said I couldn't do it all the pressure, everything and I ran out and away, and here I am."

"Did you come back for me?" Leon asked staring me now in the eyes.

"I came back because I knew I always felt safe with you, always secure, no worries about being hurt I knew you were here waiting." Leon smiles and puts his arm around my shoulders, bringing me even closer so were squished comfortably on the swing.

"I'm glad you did, I was worried that I had lost you for good, but like I said this time everything will be different, you have to loose who you loved in order to see how much they meant to you, and I know I cant ever loose you again."

Leon buries his face into my chest and I wrap my arms around him. Stroking his soft brown hair and whispering words in his ear.

"It's going to be ok."

"I'm here now."

"No worries."

"Were safe now."

The only word I couldn't bring myself to say to him was that I wasn't going to leave. I promised Axel that I wouldn't run away again but I did. I'm not going to make promises I can't keep unless I'm 100% sure I can.

We sat on the swing chair until Zexion finally found us for supper; we walked hand in hand to the dining room.

It was like old times we all sat at the table on the chairs. Laughing and fooling around, talking about anything and just being ourselves.

"So I was standing there nervous as hell with this look that says what the fuck do I say? So I kind of smiled and pushed Saix in front of me at her, and we know how he looks. So she's scared shitless and all Saix says is "You dropped your wallet." And passes it to her gives her the creepy eyebrow and walks away.

I choke on my rice and start to laugh. Zexion laughs to and pokes Saix with his chop stick.

"Ya I was like a complete fool she was so pretty and I couldn't even say one thing that made sense but seeing how Saix dealt with her I didn't feel so stupid after?

"But on the record I may have scared her just by standing there but you were stuttering like a handy-cap just listening to you was like slow torture. "Uh….uh...m-miss...I uh…uh."

I laugh even harder and Leon joins in. "sounds like you kids had a busy day." The room quiets down and Xemnas walks into the room.

"Father." Leon stands up and shakes his father's hand.

"I come here with news to you and your family my boy, there is talk, or rumors that someone amongst our happy family has betrayed us." We all look around and Leon stares at the faces before him, daring anyone to look guilty.

Problem here is everyone is a liar and a murderer, so picking the traitor out could take months of planning and testing.

"Define betrayed Xemnas?" I say, I stare at him coldly. It didn't matter to me who's father he was this old man thought he was all that, I wasn't about to let him catch anyone.

"All I know from my source inside the police is that they linked us to a murder that happened within in this year, problem is there's about 10 murder's committed and everyone here is involved in at least one of them, but the case is extremely particular only 6 F.B.I agents on it, no one else is allowed in."

Leon sighed and sat down in his chair. I place my hand on his leg and rub his knee. "Leon do you really believe him? How many times has he tried to ruin everything we have, just to prove he could?" I whisper.

"I know." Leon says. I know Xemnas isn't lying but if I can make Leon believe that he is and that no one would ever do it, the most they would do is run away, not set everyone up that's too gutsy, too risky of being caught.

I refuse to look at anyone feeling that I might give them away.

"I will take it into consideration and start doing my rounds next week, thank you for the information father." Leon takes a sip from his pop.

"There door is that way unless you would like me to escort you out, I dare say you found your way in perfectly fine."

Xemnas pats Leon on the back. "You are a fool son, and someday you're going to see it but it will be too late."

Leon laughs bitterly. "we'll see when the time comes." Xemnas walks out the door and everyone sits quietly. Were all walking on egg shells now, we can trust no one, in case were found out.

Leon stands up and walks out the door. I stand up and follow him. "Leon wait." I say pulling on his arm. Were standing out side our room and make him face me.

"Were a family this is what the gang is, were all friends and doing this again is going to tear us apart. We cant all live not trusting each other, it almost destroyed us before, please babe in 3 or 4 days can you tell everyone that Xemnas' source is wrong?" I ask pleading with him.

"I will just for you, but it makes me so mad that were all finally together again then he has to come and try to ruin it all."

I take his hand and pull him into the room. "Let's see if I can turn that frown upside down." I pull open the door and we go inside.


End file.
